Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Google Disabled Me

So I got a lovely surprise right before I went to bed. I was settling in, turning on Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters and an e-mail popped up. My laptop screen was slightly tilted so that I couldn't quite read it, but I could see what appeared to be my Mary Kay blogger link. I rolled out of bed, opened my finicky Yahoo mail (no idea why I still use that) and was absolutely stunned to see my Mary Kay blog was deleted as spam. Now, mind you, I don't even work for Mary Kay anymore so there is no way I was advertising a Mary Kay webpage or my products. I also very rarely used outside links, used one affiliate link (listia.com, because I love that site a lot) and usually posted unique information that directors were not sharing out in the open if they were sharing it at all.

I freaked to say the least. I started bawling. I don't even make anything off that blog (less than .50 cents its entire life so far), but I really liked that blog. I was selflessly helping people! - I know, unheard of and unexpected from me, right? But I was. I put ads on the page just as icing on the cake and help out a little bit, not because I expected to be rolling in dough.

My Mary Kay blog is still locked right now, but after what happened next, that seems utterly inconsequential.

I go to look for what I'm supposed to do, as the deletion e-mail has absolutely nothing in it except a link to my deleted blog, a link to the TOS and a link to the content policy. I found this explanation of three steps (hope that link doesn't get this blog deleted as spam). Well, step one says that something else should have been in my e-mail or on my dashboard. Nothing was in the e-mail so I went to the dashboard.

Oh wait, no, I didn't, because my dashboard was disabled! My entire Google account was disabled at 1:00AM!

I bawled harder. I called my dad to try and cry about it. His answer: "Wait until tomorrow and as eHow about it." Yes, that's right. Even my dad, a person without Internet at all, thinks Google and eHow are in bed together (and no, I did not put that thought into his head). Of course, that answer didn't help and because I was staring at not only a frozen blogger account but a frozen Adsense account, I was too riled up to sleep (actually still am, hence why I'm writing here instead of sleeping for my classes tomorrow).

I bounce around. I try desperately to figure out what to do. Google has to be one of the least user friend companies ever when you're in trouble. Oh, if you're having a good time and all is working then Google is awesome; the site is so easy to use. But if you need help... I hope you like no lube and all sandpaper up your bum.

Finally, somehow, I manage to get to this screen that tells me I can verify my account by receiving a text message. Well I don't have text messaging for free. Costs me 10 cents a message or something like that. So I try calling around. Of course, it's 1AM and no one is awake. I end up sending the message to myself anyway. 10 cents is worth getting my account back. Except when I enter the code on the site, I am given a "the service you requested is temporarily unavailable" error page.

That's right. Add insult to injury and make me waste 10 cents.

Well, I finally tried again an hour later and got my account unlocked. I can access all my Google stuff again.

My Mary Kay blog is still locked, but now that I've almost had a heart attack about losing part of my livelihood - a large part of it behind eHow - a single blog that doesn't earn anything, that I only kept up to be a good person, doesn't seem all that important.

That'll teach me to be helpful!

Just a little more weirdness. After being disabled, I am now a follower of all my blogs that had at least one follower on them.